so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
