Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize