I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
