His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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