I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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