I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
