I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
