dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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