three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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