my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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