she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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