I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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