ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize