so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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