His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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