I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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