this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
