The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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