I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
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DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
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i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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