just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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