I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
