Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
