Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
