dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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