hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
