You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
