I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
