The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
