I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
