So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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