i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
