Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We're too hungover to prance.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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