why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
