At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
