I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
