They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
