That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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