The maid of honor just puked.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
