so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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