hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
