He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize