I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize