Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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