Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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