dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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