we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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