margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
