If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
