there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
