One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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