so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
birth control should be required to get into college
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
