let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize