When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
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She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
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Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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