About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
