you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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